You pay the mortgage, order the groceries, and keep the Wi-Fi running. Your cat contributes one nap in a sunbeam and somehow holds the highest position in the house.
The clues are everywhere: a couch you need permission to use, a kitchen inspection whenever a can opens, and a bedroom where your sleeping space keeps shrinking. You thought you adopted a pet. Apparently, you accepted a job.
These 15 funny cat memes imagine home as a company with a very small CEO and a human staff that handles every expense. From furniture takeovers to questionable workplace policies, here’s how the boss keeps things running.
1. The Corner Office
Meme text: YOU CALL IT A COUCH. I CALL IT HEADQUARTERS.
The couch seats two, according to the store. According to management, it seats one cat and absolutely no dissent.
2. Kitchen Quality Control
Meme text: I HEARD A CAN OPEN. THIS IS NOW AN INSPECTION.
You can prepare an entire salad without supervision. Touch one can, and the head of quality control appears with several urgent questions.
3. The Employee Sleep Zone
Meme text: YOUR SIDE OF THE BED HAS BEEN DOWNSIZED.
The benefits package includes eight inches of mattress and the opportunity to remain perfectly still. Negotiations reopen whenever someone needs to roll over.
4. An Important Calendar Update
Meme text: YOUR MEETING HAS BEEN REPLACED BY ME.
You had a presentation at two. The cat had a sitting-on-something plan at two. Only one of those events had executive approval.
5. Office Access Policy
Meme text: THE DOOR STAYS OPEN. I MAY NEED TO IGNORE YOU.
A closed door suggests you have a private department. Management prefers an open floor plan, even when management has no intention of entering.
6. Facilities Has a Request
Meme text: YOU WORK IN MAINTENANCE. THE SUNBEAM MOVED.
The afternoon sun has relocated three feet to the left. Somehow, this is your department’s failure, and the cushion needs to be there immediately.
7. Packaging Procurement
Meme text: KEEP YOUR PURCHASE. I APPROVED THE BOX.
The new bed has orthopedic foam, washable fabric, and zero tenants. Its shipping container has already become a fully occupied executive suite.
8. The Laundry Acquisition
Meme text: THANK YOU FOR WARMING MY NEW WARDROBE.
You folded the towels so neatly that they now qualify as furniture. Any attempt to reclaim one will be treated as removal of company property.
9. An Unscheduled Lunch Tax
Meme text: THAT SANDWICH REQUIRES A MANAGEMENT FEE.
You bought the ingredients, made lunch, and found a clean plate. The cat contributed an intense stare and would now like compensation.
10. The After-Hours Help Desk
Meme text: IT’S 3 A.M. WHY IS SUPPORT ASLEEP?
The help desk is available around the clock. This policy was written by someone who takes six naps during normal business hours.
11. Building Security
Meme text: ONE SQUIRREL. THREE HOURS OF SURVEILLANCE.
The perimeter has been under close observation since breakfast. Security has identified one suspect, filed no reports, and requested that the blinds stay up.
12. Your Performance Review
Meme text: PETTING: EXCELLENT. STOPPING: NEEDS IMPROVEMENT.
Your technique showed promise. Unfortunately, you ended the session before your supervisor did, which has affected your overall rating.
13. The Wellness Program
Meme text: YOGA IS CANCELED. THIS MAT IS OCCUPIED.
You unrolled the mat for twenty minutes of stretching. Management has converted the space into a lounge and recommends that you try being flexible about it.
14. Company Property
Meme text: THE SCRATCHING POST IS PERSONAL. THE ARMCHAIR IS BUSINESS.
The dedicated scratching post was a thoughtful purchase. The armchair, however, offers better visibility, richer texture, and direct access to your last nerve.
15. Payroll Has Been Reviewed
Meme text: YOU PAY THE BILLS. I PROVIDE THE SUPERVISION.
The household runs on your salary, your errands, and your ability to open things without thumbs. The cat would like credit for keeping the team focused.
Still Employed, Somehow
Life with a cat comes with unusual working conditions: surprise inspections, a mysteriously occupied chair, and a supervisor who falls asleep during every important task. The pay is nonexistent. The occasional head bump does make it difficult to resign.
Which department does your cat run? Share this with the person who also pays rent to a boss with whiskers.